Today I am starting this blog to walk through my journey. Today I have hope. I believe that my child was given to me for a reason and that while I know I love her, I do not feel bonded. That scares me. I want to feel bonded. I want to feel happy and not sad and over whelmed. I am doing everything I can to recover. I am taking medication. I don’t want to take medication, but I am. I am afraid as we have increased the dose this week and I am waiting to see how I do with it. I am going to therapy. I am paying a support person to sit with me in the evening three days a week after work until my husband comes home to help. I am going to Yoga twice a week. Mostly I am praying to God to help me through. I want to be the mother that God intended me to be.